Life changes. Thoughtful home decisions.
Getting Divorced
A clearer plan for your home. One decision at a time.
When a relationship changes, housing can become one of the most complicated practical decisions. Start with the facts, compare realistic options and identify who needs to advise you before you commit. You can use this guide on your own or with your professional team.
Start where you are
Use partner conversation starters only when direct discussion is safe and appropriate. If there is intimidation, coercion or an order limiting contact, work through your attorney or an appropriate support professional instead. These prompts do not require a joint meeting.
This is general educational guidance, not legal, tax, lending or relationship counseling. Use your own qualified advisors for decisions specific to you.
Read. Reflect. Talk.
Conversations worth having before the next step
You can read every prompt here without providing an email. Take notes privately; this page does not collect your answers.
01 · Decide how decisions will be made
Before discussing price or moving dates, clarify communication boundaries and who can authorize a housing decision. Ask your attorney about applicable orders, required consent and the process for documenting agreements. Tell your real estate professional how and when it is appropriate to contact you; do not assume a shared email account is private.
Conversation starters
- What is a workable and appropriate way to communicate about the house?
- Which decisions need professional advice before either of us acts?
- How will we record decisions and handle a disagreement?
02 · Separate the facts from the assumptions
Gather records you are entitled to access: ownership documents, mortgage and home-equity statements, insurance, taxes, HOA information and repair records. Keep balances, estimated market value and expected sale proceeds distinct. A market estimate is not an agreed division of property or a guarantee of proceeds.
Conversation starters
- Which records do we have, and what still needs to be confirmed?
- What do we each believe the home is worth, and how will we evaluate that?
- Who can help us reconcile balances, liens and potential transaction costs?
03 · Compare selling, keeping and a temporary plan
Discuss the feasibility of selling, one person retaining the home, or a time-limited arrangement before deciding. Compare carrying costs, financing, repairs, transaction costs and the next housing budget. Ask your advisors to document responsibilities, deadlines and what happens if a proposed plan cannot be completed.
Conversation starters
- What would each option require financially and practically?
- If one person hopes to keep the home, what must be confirmed first?
- What is the fallback if financing, a sale or a move takes longer than expected?
04 · Treat the mortgage as a separate decision
A divorce decree or removal from the deed does not by itself release a borrower from a mortgage. Ask the loan servicer about the specific loan, possible assumption or release options, eligibility, required documents and timing. Ask a lender about refinancing where appropriate. Do not assume a transfer, new loan or release will be approved; obtain written confirmation and legal advice.
Conversation starters
- Whose names are on ownership records and on each loan?
- What written lender or servicer confirmation do we need?
- How will payments and insurance be handled while the longer-term plan is unresolved?
05 · Prepare for a sale without extra surprises
If selling is the chosen and authorized path, discuss pricing, preparation, showings, repairs, possessions and offer decisions before listing. Agree on how information will be shared and ask your attorney what instructions or signatures are needed. Use the home-systems checklist to surface solar, septic, wells and other specialty concerns early.
Conversation starters
- Who will handle access, pets, belongings and the day-to-day showing routine?
- How will we decide on repairs, price changes and offers?
- What needs to be written down about expenses, exclusions and the move-out condition?
06 · Plan the landing, not just the closing
Make a separate next-home budget for each household. Include deposits, moving, storage, utilities, insurance and any gap between leaving one home and entering another. Ask legal and tax advisors how timing, obligations and potential tax consequences apply to you. Plan a handoff of keys, records and accounts without exposing private information.
Conversation starters
- What housing arrangements are realistic after the transition?
- What dates are confirmed, and which are still estimates?
- What records, access changes and professional follow-ups need to happen after closing?
Turn the conversation into a plan
Your preparation checklist
- A safe contact method and professional communication plan.
- A list of ownership, loan and property records you can lawfully access.
- A comparison of housing options with costs and unresolved questions.
- Written questions for your attorney, lender or servicer, and tax advisor.
- A preparation and moving plan with responsibilities and dates.
- A list of decisions that remain unapproved or need written confirmation.
For each open item, write down: what we know, what we still need, who will help, and when we will revisit it.
Put the right questions in the right hands
- Erin: discuss market information, sale preparation and housing logistics within an agreed brokerage relationship. Ask how representation and communications would work for your situation.
- Attorney: advise on rights, orders, authority, agreements and required legal steps.
- Lender or loan servicer: confirm loan-specific options, qualification and any release from liability.
- Tax advisor and, when appropriate, a mediator or support professional: address the questions within their respective roles.
A useful next conversation
Let’s talk about the home part.
Tell Erin whether you are exploring options, preparing to buy or sell, or looking for help with a housing timeline. Include your preferred way to be contacted. You do not need to share relationship details, court documents or financial account numbers in the website form.
Start a conversation with ErinPrefer email? erinrose.realestate@gmail.com
MindInstallation.com · Planned class
Getting Divorced: Housing Decisions & Your Next Chapter
A companion class is planned for MindInstallation.com when the learning platform and course are ready. Enrollment is not open, and a date and price have not been announced.
Planned topics
- Organize property facts and professional questions
- Compare housing paths and practical tradeoffs
- Build a communication, preparation and moving checklist
The direct class link will appear here once it is available. For now, ask Erin about the planned class. An inquiry is not enrollment or an automatic class-notification subscription.
Keep learning
Official resources are starting points. Requirements and available options depend on your circumstances.